The first half of the shift consisted of me and the other doorman going down into the 'basement' of the bar (aka the storage room) boxing up everything and moving it to a new kitchen to be stored while the basement gets dry-walled. Sounds exciting right? It was... Knowing my luck, i'll be the poor schlub that has to put all that storage back into the basement.
Because of the bars poor occupancy, it left much room to eavesdrop the hell out of people's conversations. It made it much easier that this particular pair had polished off a couple drinks and were using their outdoor voices inside (which violates my personal beliefs). Then the question of the day was proposed by the gentleman to my buddy bartender.
The million dollar question was, "After how many dates is it appropriate to cut off communication with a girl if you haven't 'shtuped'?"
First off, the look on the woman's face who he was with was absolutely priceless. It was the extremely confused/shocked look of "wow buddy, you just blew any sort of chance you ever had," or it was the look of "wow buddy, you're such an asshole it makes me like you even more."
But just like in any debate--there are deciding factors that sway the outcome. Considering that every case is different, the discussed variables were:
- How much do you actually like/connect with/respect this person,
- How much dough are you dropping on her, and
- How much dough are you dropping on her
After discussing the different variables, the bartender replied with an answer of "3-4 dates." The men pretty much agreed. The lovely lady was still bewildered by the question.
Now i'm passing the question on to you--Ladies is pimps too, and their input is especially important. So again, after how many dates is it appropriate to stop wooing a dame (or a gentleman caller for ladies) if you haven't made 'whoopie'?
Please post your answer in the comment box below (she may have said that, but after how many dates?)
It's hard to give a standard number on something like this. Is this a girl you like alot and are looking for a relationship from or are you just looking to get laid. Lets be honest. There are people you would have sex with, but you wouldn't want to see them more than that. In that case, I would say just a couple dates. Maybe one depending on chemistry.
ReplyDeleteBut if you are looking for a significant relationship it's different. There is a longer time period. I'd say up to a month depending on how much you like the other person.
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ReplyDeleteI really think there is no standard. I think if she wants to have sex with you, she will and if she is smart she will give you just enough to keep believing you will actually sleep with her that you stick around.
ReplyDeleteAdhering to a "certain number of dates" rule is idiotic. Sex is sex, it can be great, it can be awkward, it can be terrible, but it isnt powerful enough to make you create rules for yourself. If you are just looking to have sex, maybe go on a few casual dates and then should try and bag the "dame" or the "gentleman caller." If you want more than that, than wait. If you want more than that but they are turning you on sex 'em up.
The bottom line is that people need to stop being so serious and awkward about sex (it makes the sex bad) and just go with what they are feeling. If you want to hook up. Hook up. Stop with the games and the rules and all that bs. Just do them or don't do them, and if after you do them the sex is good than keep doing them.