The Return

Guess who's baaaaaaaack?? You got it bitches. Me.

You're probably asking yourself, ''Justin, why haven't you updated your awesome blog in the past 2 months?'' The answer to that question is, "I thought I was fired.'' Turns out I wasn't.

Basically, what it came down to was me growing a pair to confront my manager and be like, ''Hey, my username and password on the online 'schedulizer' isn't working.'' But, have no fear. I'm back with a vengeance, and a scarf (foreshadow).

Friday night was my first shift in a while, and I thought I forgot how to stand in one place for 8 hours and observe funny drunken messes. It's like riding a bike.

In the months that I was away, the bar started having bands play on their stage. When I saw this I thought, ''Alright awesome. I love bands.'' The band that played was not bad, but the general consensus between patrons and other employees alike was that they played too many boy band songs. The guy at the bar wearing a skull bandanna and long beard told me, "These guys fucking blow." I, however enjoyed their covers of *N Sync and Backstreet Boys.

There were also rules to be in this band:

1. You must wear a scarf
2. You must smoke cigs on the reg when not playing
3. You must try your best to get your hair to look like @SchneiderMon's (using twitter ID to preserve anonymity), but it's an #EpicFail, because that's impossible
4. You must be wearing a scarf at all times

Like we get it. Scarves are in. I wear them too, but not when i'm playing a show. Why? Because that wreaks of 'doucebag-ness.' Yes, you are the lead singer and rhythm guitarist of a cover band and everyone can already tell because you wear scarves on stage and smoke on the reg.

Let's see...what else happened...I saw a chick slo-motion puke almost on my shoes. That was definitely a 'life flashed before my eyes' moment'. I won't go into further detail.

I'm glad to be back. Mostly because I like the money, but really because I like writing for my millions upon millions of The Rock's fans.

Faithfully yours,

Me