The Creepy Old Man

SPOILER ALERT: THIS WAS THE CREEPIEST MAN I'VE EVER SEEN

Sketchy people are arguably the most fun people to observe. But, this older gentlemen took sketchy, creepy, and scary to an entirely different level of uncomfortable. This goes down as the most discomfort i've ever felt witnessing a man being creepy.

I was working the door that night and there was a group of three middle-aged gentlemen at the closest table to the door. I was basically part of their party. To make matters even creepier, this was Halloween weekend so about 60-70% of the patrons that night were in costume. The night started out totally fine, the guys were eating, drinking, and being merry, but a few beers and shots later--the creepiest creeper, who we'll name Creepy Carl, decided it was time to bring out the camera.

All guys are flirty with the wait staff. Probably because they all happen to be cute young girls (shocker ay?). Carl decided to snap a couple photos of the group with their waitress who was dressed as a "naughty cop." Not that crazy--I mean, with their looks and their age, how often are these guys around cute young girls. They wanted to capitalize on their moment. Go ahead fellas. Have a ball. But then things got weird...

When the waitress was checking on her other tables, the things that came out Carl's mouth were quite shocking. I won't get into details because this is a family friendly blog, but i'll just say that Carl was quite attracted to the waitress and was describing adult activities he would like to engage in with the waitress. Looking for affirmation from his friends, Carl remarked something to the effect of, "am I right?" One of the gentlemen said, "C'mon man, i've got a daughter that age." I immediately thought in my head, "Good for you. Good for you."

Then the bar started to get really busy, filling up with scantly clad girls in their Halloween costumes. This is when Creepy Carl started going up to literally every girl in the bar approaching them with the same opener, "Can I take a picture with you?" I heard that phrase so many times that night that I will never forget it. Some girls were able to escape this completely awkward situation of being approached by a drunk middle aged man trying to snap a photo for his personal collection. Others were not so lucky and/or were too nice to say no. I thought this guy might be a serial killer and is possibly looking for the best skin suit to wear ala Buffalo Bill. Then the zooming in happened--I think you get the picture (pun intended).

Then me and the other guy working the door started having a little fun with this weirdo. We would pop behind the pictures of random girl and Carl and try to ruin the picture by giving them bunny ears, and antlers, and making funny faces to try and relieve some of the creepy-ness (being as discrete as possible of course).

Countless times, the very nice waitress who had to put up with this party would come over to me and the other bouncer and tell us "this is the strangest night of my life." She definitely made a months rent that night however, which she was stoked about.

I made a promise, nay, a vow to myself that I would never be that creepy ever in my life. Guys shouldn't have a camera at the bar in the first place. That's just part of guy code. Only females bring camera's to the bar to show how great/terrible of photographers they think they are (but that's a different article for a different blog).

Moral of the story: Don't be like Creepy Carl. And if you're a guy, you shouldn't have a camera at the bar.